Apologies for the quiet spell, I have been away for the holidays and on coming back was inspired by an article explaining some medical terminology. Here are my alternative definitions.
Azoospermia: ‘sperm full of zoo animals’
Lack of sperm cells in semen. About 2% of the total male population is affected by it.
Oligozoospermia: ‘sperm full of zoo animals made of plastic bricks’
When sperm cell concentration is lower than 20 million per cc, or when a whole ejaculated matter has less than 40 million spermatozoids.
Polizoospermia: ‘sperm full of zoo animals wearing police uniforms’
It takes place when there are more than 200 million spermatozoids per cc. It may be a cause of sterility since such a high concentration can difficult their movement.
Astenozoospermia: ‘sperm full of a zoo animals who have musical farts’
This case consists in a decrease of mobile sperm cells. It’s the most frequent seminal alteration.
Teratozoospermia: ‘fear of going to sperm zoo’
It’s the presence of an abnormally high proportion of morphologically altered sperm cells. It is commonly associated to alterations in movement quality and produced by anomalies in the formation of sperm cells.
Normozoospermia: ‘sperm full of zoo animals except no cows’
Normozoospermia is diagnosed when semen follows the parameters of normality.
Amenorrhea: ‘there is a man over here’
The absence of menstruation
Chlamydia: ‘condition of having a shellfish in the ear’
A sexually transmitted disease that may cause fallopian tube scarring or blockage. It is responsible for up to 50 percent of all pelvic inflammatory infections.
Endometriosis: ‘situation at the end of the night when at the restaurant you must explain to your sister that they have no steak left’
A medical condition that involves the presence of tissue similar to the uterine lining in abnormal locations. This condition can affect both fertilization of the egg and embryo implantation.
Fibroids: ‘women getting married who are ignited’
Round growths that develop in the uterus. They are almost always benign, or non-cancerous.
Luteal dysfunction: ‘where a green/blue toilet doesn’t work’
Luteal dysfunction is when the luteal phase is shorter than normal and/or progesterone levels during the luteal phase are below normal.
Miscarriage: ‘when you step into a car or horse buggy and miss, falling into or out of the car’
A pregnancy ending in the spontaneous loss of the embryo or fetus before 20 weeks of gestation
Vaginismus: ‘where one’s vagina has turned into a mouse’
Any more suggestions please leave a comment or tweet me @shenanigannery